Like Job, I sometimes have a whole lot of questions. Recently I have been having a lot of the same questions that he had, and just feeling despaired. But God is still God. Job didn't get the answers to why things were happening to him. Job is such a long book of this bantering back and forth, with everyone giving advice and telling him what to do. At the end Job asks God, and God's answer is just who He is...and that's enough for Job. At the end of the book, he says, 'before my ears had heard of you, but now my eyes have seen you' and so that's enough. And of course he said, 'I repent and I'm in ashes' but he never got an answer. God didn't say, 'I did this because..., or I let this happen because...' He just said, 'this is who I am, and I did all these other things, and I'm God.'
As I read this story I so clearly recognize it in my own life. This past week has been one of trials; amidst an increasingly busier schedule at school, I became a victim of fraud and lost a lot of money; a check I thought had cleared by now was cashed, bringing my balance into the negatives, and the overdraft fees are rising exponentially, almost equaling the amount that I lost due to the fraud. Loan payouts and tuition reimbursement money are seemingly still on their way, but in this mess, I am beginning to wonder. All this to say, like Job, I've been feeling despaired. But my hope comes from God and the reality of who he is. When I say, 'if only I could see you, then maybe I'd believe,' God does just that. He reveals himself in a way I don't expect; in a way that Job didn't expect.
You made the stars, You made the oceans, You made the mountains, You made me. You made us live, You made us love, You made us breathe. -Abbye Pates
His answer was enough for Job. It's enough for me. I don't understand You, but I love You. I cannot explain You, but I love You. I barely know You, but I love You...I love You, I love You, I love You.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
