Jesus Will Build His Church.

While trapped in isolation gear consisting of a yellow plastic gown and blue gloves, I began to read and to sweat. Drinking coffee probably didn't help my temperature regulation, but I can say with certainty that I needed it to stay awake. Let's just assume I stayed awake for the duration of my shift. I did have several hours to read, and read I did. Some from Matthew, Isaiah, Acts, Genesis, 1 Kings, 2 Kings, 2 Timothy, Philippians, Romans, Revelation...

Jesus will build his church. This is clear. It has been God's aim from before the foundations of the Earth were set. In a stifling room, confined to a muggy apron, I read with keen eyes and an impassioned heart. Walls within my heart have come down that I didn't know I'd built. Praise God! Life is flowing through my veins and my heart is beating with excitement, my mind races with thoughts much to big to think. God drew near tonight. My heart rejoiced at truths in his Word that speak love loudly. These truths also speak love clearly and simply. Truth leaped from the pages and a renewed vision and purpose welled inside my heart and mind.

Jesus will build his church. My heart stirred in such a way tonight that words merely hint at the joy I am feeling. Caught up in excitement I told myself, "Self, get a tattoo tomorrow morning, lest you forget again what God has placed on your heart." Now, I'm still thinking over the tattoo idea, but the message God placed upon my heart, through his word, is clear and reorienting.

Go, Eric, disciple the nations. These are my people, whom I love. Teach all that I have taught you. Wield the sword of the Spirit mightily, for darkness is dying. My Son will build his church. He will not be stopped. And behold, he is with you ALWAYS, to the end of the age. Pray earnestly that more laborers be sent out into my harvest. Go, my son, go and disciple the nations. Live with eternity in focus, live with this purpose and passion. Eric, these are the things I am passionate about and already at work doing. Join me in this fight of faith. Love me and love my people by going and discipling. Make waves for my Kingdom.

Lord, I echo your saints, if you'll teach me your Word I'll proclaim it for the rest of my days.
This was a significant, sweaty, joyful night!

"A Thanksgiving" for a thankful and blustery Sunday

I Thank Thee, boundless Giver,
That the thoughts Thou givest flow
In sounds that like a river
All through the darkness go.
And though few should swell the pleasure,
By sharing this my wine,
My heart will clasp its treasure,
This secret gift of Thine.

My heart the joy inherits,
And will oft be sung to rest;
And some wandering hoping spirits
May listen and be blest.
For the sound may break the hours
In a dark and gloomy mood,
As the wind breaks up the bowers
Of the brooding sunless wood.

For every sound of gladness
Is a prophet-wind that tells
Of a summer without sadness,
And a love without farewells;
And a heart that hath no ailing,
And an eye that is not dim,
And a faith that without failing
Shall be complete in Him.

And when my heart is mourning,
The songs it lately gave,
Back to their fount returning,
Make sweet the bitter wave;
And forth a new stream floweth,
In sunshine winding fair;
And through the dark wood goeth
Glad laughter on the air.

For the heart of man that waketh,
Yet hath not ceased to dream,
Is the only fount that maketh
The sweet and bitter stream.
But the sweet will still be flowing
When the bitter stream is dry,
And glad music only going
On the breezes of the sky.

I thank Thee, boundless Giver,
That the thoughts Thou givest flow
In sounds that like a river
All through the darkness go.
And though few should swell the pleasure
By sharing this my wine,
My heart will clasp its treasure,
This secret gift of Thine.

--George MacDonald

Make the Tree Good

Transform me, Jesus. Transform the way I feel and think and love; renew my mind with your Word. Stir me to take steps in life that make known your true value. Make it so, Lord, I plead. Sanctify and free me by your truth, that I may discern what is good, acceptable and perfect. I give myself to this. May the fruit be good.

Words I Long to Hear

"You are still a sinner. But I see in your life the distinguishing fruit of my Son's mercy. Your mercy on others is the evidence of his mercy in you. And for his sake I now show you mercy again. Come, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world."

Joplin, Missouri. May, 2011.

mysterychurch.com

Would you consider taking a moment to pray now for the families devastated by the tornado in Joplin, MO. Lift them before the throne.

When all seems lost
When we're thrown and we're tossed
We remember the cost
We rest in Him
Shadow of the cross - dcb

I'm a sucker for allegory. Could quite possibly be my favorite to read. Drawing from the substance of familiar life, one can bring an idea to bear in a special way, unfolding meaning and truths that are cloaked in beautiful imagery. Jesus mastered this literary device...not surprising, being the Word made flesh, but dang he is GOOD!

While in Brazil, where distractions were limited, time passed leisurely, and my heart was focused, I was able to savor this Word that truly is sweeter than honey to the taste. While preparing to lead the morning's devotional, my eyes landed on John 15."That's it! We’ll talk about botany." I love this passage. It's all good, but man, I love the depth and richness of these verses.

1-11: “I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser. 2 Every branch in me that does not bear fruit he takes away, and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit. 3 Already you are clean because of the word that I have spoken to you. 4 Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. 5 I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If anyone does not abide in me he is thrown away like a branch and withers; and the branches are gathered, thrown into the fire, and burned. 7 If you abide in me, and my words abide in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples. 9 As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Abide in my love. 10 If you keep my commandments, you will abide in my love, just as I have kept my Father's commandments and abide in his love. 11 These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full.

Jesus calls himself the true vine, which at first glance seems normal enough, but upon further pondering I begin to see humility flow from his words. Jesus, God incarnate, is pleased to speak of himself as a part of his own creation, a lowly vine. What a humble comparison.
God is the gardener, Jesus is the vine. What about me? Well, it’s not...
Graced with reality’s perspective, smallness ensues. Life is NOT about me, or us for the matter, but about Him. These verses help me remember my position before God: He is above all, Creator, Master, Lord and Savior. AND, though this life’s not about me, the Father chose to draw me, who was once far, very near to himself. “Every branch in me...” O the sweetness those words possess. Jesus calls us into himself and transports us into a relationship of favor with our heavenly Father. Think about this: as branches, we are made up of the very DNA of the vine we’re a part of. The very DNA of Jesus!

“If . . . my words abide in you." Abide, what does that really mean anyway?

I believe this means that the words of Jesus take root in us and bear fruit. I'm no linguistics wizard, but when I think of the word abide, a similar word abode also comes to mind. Dwelling. His words find a home in us, and they fit cozily; they really belong. Recently I’ve been preparing to move across town and have been doing some Spring cleaning. In much the same way, we’ve go to do some rearranging and getting rid of things so that the word has room and “feels at home.” The words of Jesus don't abide without effect. This is a distinction that I missed for years. I just need to read my bible more, that's my problem. No, I need to abide. Yes, to read my Bible, but in such a way as to have the words of Jesus take root and bear the fruits of faith and holiness in my life.

Prune away, great God, for your own glory and my good. Please bring forth much fruit and joy. The word of Christ brings life as it works grace, and works out corruption. Thank you for life-giving allegory.

Stretching Money

I hope this finds you living in the hope and peace of Christ's glorious resurrection!

I just received my tax return and have decided to use it to help others. I am going to Haiti in June and the tax return covers the remaining balance owed, but then is almost gone. The question is:

Are you feeling generous after Easter? Should you be? :) I would love to see the money go farther and help more people.

Call me or message me if you are interested in donating towards Haiti so that more of the tax return can go to help others. Thank you for considering this! 

Eric Papp 417-425-6847

| Brasil - Day 1 |

After an eventful first day of flights, bumpy and winding van rides, and temperature adjustment, we were welcomed to our pousada by the generous staff. Quick snack of fresh guarana juice, nap, lunch, then off to Pão de Açúcar (Sugarloaf Mountain). Pictures do not do any justice to the beauty one drinks in from atop the summit. The glass-paneled cable cars proved nerve-wracking for some, but offered great 360 views of the surrounding city. Knowing that I was peering down at millions of lives being lived out at that very moment was humbling. The church gathering was beautiful; worshiping Jesus with other believers in Portugese continues to expand my view and understanding of how immense He is. Tomorrow begins our vacation Bible school in a favela in Niteroi. Please pray for the little ones and for grace to recognize children as capable of authentic faith. From Brasil, for the glory of God...boa noite.

Admiration

"The more you see your own flaws and sins, the more precious, electrifying, and amazing God's grace appears to you." -Keller

I am being changed. I can see good fruit that comes only from God. My eyes are more open to my need for Jesus; for God to look upon his righteousness and not my own. Oh what a good God we have. Reading Revelation 5 this morning broke me because I forget that Jesus is the only one worthy enough to open the scroll, and the only one worthy of the affections of my heart. It also brought me great joy to look upon the grace of God, in this exchange, with new eyes of appreciation and awe. He truly does satisfy to the very core if I should only open my eyes. Praise be to the one seated on the throne and to The Lamb who was slain.

awaiting (psalm 22)

My God, where are you in this grief?

I taste unrest, with no relief.

For I am mocked, despised by all,

My faith derided, scorn befalls.

My bones are staring from my chest,

My heart, it melts within my breast.

O you my help and my success,

Have turned your ear in my distress.

We eat and we are satisfied,

Betrothed to you, we are your bride.

Your blood is spilled to make us new,

The curse of sin you did undo.

Praise be to God the righteous one,

We shall proclaim that it is done!

city on a hill

Let me love both friend and foe

Let me shine though fallen

Give me compassion, I need to understand

what they're going through

Let me be broken, let me be poured out

I'm yours to give away

Don't let my light be hidden

City on a hill, city on a hill not hidden

Light of the world, to you my heart is knit

Let all your light be more than just within me

Let it spill over, let it flood out into

the city streets

Sisters and brothers won't you come hear

the song the Savior sings

Won't you come join the song the Savior sings

Don't let my light be hidden

City on a hill, city on a hill not hidden

Come all you who are broken

hungry

humbled

Come on, come on, come on

come taste and see

dissipating fog

hours of words fill my head. rheumatoid, nodular, autoimmune, neoplasm, hirsutism. words swimming through two fatigued hemispheres. a cellphone call dissipates the haze within my head. "have you left your house yet?" I struggle to recall why I would be leaving my house. oh yeah, community group! crap, I'm almost late. I welcome the interruption and rush to Paquin Tower, doing my best to balance twelve forks, cups and plates all the while. this is a new setting for us all. A little strange, yet fresh and exciting.

we decided to move our weekly gathering from the comforts and convenience of a private residence into a public housing complex in order to reach out to an underserved and underestimated group of wonderful people. This has proved to be both challenging and beautiful.

our stories are being woven together, combining a few awkward moments drowned out by the radiant glow of new friends moved to laughter. I look around, an infant is held by a young couple, to my left a quaker eating spaghetti, to my right a man in a wheelchair talks about eating turtle soup. across from me, a woman invites us to pray for her employment opportunity, being as she finds it difficult to make each month's rent. a few college students. a man asks us to pray for him as he struggles through the effects of a mental condition. this man shines with an everlasting light. he speaks genuinely of his walk with Jesus and how He is the sustaining force in his life. I am humbled. praise God, I am humbled. have you ever experienced moments where you feel like the veil has been removed just long enough for you to see community as God intended? we each still have plenty of walls still standing in the way, but there are glimpses into God's Kingdom come on earth.

the phrase "everlasting light" is uttered by my friend with the mental condition. I pull out my phone and I share a very rough cut of a song a few friends and I wrote and recorded last month in mississippi with a lyric including the same words. we sit next to each other leaning in to hear through the small speaker. after the song is finished, he says that he wants us to perform it on the tonight show. I laugh and think of how silly that would be, but I promise to burn him a copy of the cd. "I would love that. I'll buy a cd player so I can listen to it." I am humbled again.

this move has been a good change. I see a glimpse of heaven on earth. physical needs. spiritual needs. each important. Lord, move us into action.

Songwriter's Retreat: endings and beginnings (+ quotes!)

Well, we did it. We took off from the normal, everydayness and took the plunge into the intensity of songwriting in community. In the end, we wrote and recorded 13 songs, some which came to us as one word or phrase; others with a better skeleton; still others which were mostly finished but needed the ear and voice of another living soul. All were our seed-songs, given to each other to help them grow up.

Stay tuned to hear what happens with this collection of souls and songs. Some of us are getting married; others are going to Ghana for many months. And the songs will eventually make their way into the final stages of songmaking (mixing, re-mixing, and still more mixing!) Hopefully your ear will lend a listen!

As for the rest of this writing, below are some of our favorite quotes (and pictures!) from the weekend, of which I gave context where needed to understand why something was said the way it was said (though mostly, when you're tired and silly, you don't know why you say what you say!)

from The Quote Page
Songwriter's Retreat 2010

(before recording a live clap-track for one of our songs)
"Should we clap off-beat on purpose?" Katie

"No; that'll happen naturally." Matthew

"They were so few in number but they had so many brains!"
Eric & Matthew

"I'm sorry I screwed it up (meaning the vocals in the song)." Matt
"You didn't screw it up, that's just the way you sing." Abbye

"Abbye, your voice is angelic!" Katie
"Well, it's debatable..." Abbye

"Don't touch my butt, Katie!"Matthew
"But your butt is just so touchable." Abbye (chiming in)
(Uncomfortable laughter from Matthew)
"Hey, you opened it... the can of worms, I mean, not your butt." Abbye
*Disclaimer: No one touched anyone else's butt. Ever.

(While looking at a picture being drawn)
"Is that Abbye?" Katie
"Um, well, this girl's black..." Eric

"Urethra Franklin!" Matthew
(in a conversation that somehow led to bladder infections)

"God, your company is so dreary." Matthew
(sometimes it's difficult to get those lyrics right)

"Tongue, what?!" Katie
(you really shouldn't eat from street vendors in Ghana...)

"Be astonished! We are common men with a mighty message." Eric
(Inspired by the reading of Acts 4:13)

Songwriter's Retreat, Day 4: freedom in confession (or "What you learn from being cooped up in a cabin for 4 days")

Confession happened in the Bear Cub Cabin this morning. By day 4 of sleeping, eating, collaborating, and singing in a two-story, 4-bedroom cabin, (with 5 people) we are bound to be short with one another, inconsiderate, and selfish at times. We have proven that even 5 artists, excited to be together, aren't immune from the sin of selfish ambition and the world's voice that says, "Your wants and needs matter most."

But even though we've not always been considerate, we've filled the air with confession and gentleness. A few of us took some time to speak of the envy we've felt about friendships, lack of confidence in our ability to find the right harmony, the strain of time-constraint when recording music that includes multiple musicians and vocalists.

And in speaking some of these things, we've been met with forgiveness and relief... which is, indeed, a relief! And with this confession, forgiveness, relief, we've grown in greater intimacy wth these friends, whether or not we knew each other's middle names or how we take our coffee before we came together this week.

I don't think we expected confession when we came here. But depth in relationships doesn't happen without honesty; I'm so thankful for these friends who helped us live into this.

What else have we learned from being cooped up in a cabin for 4 days? That meals are better by candlelight, unhurried, d r a w n out. That butter is better than margarine. That damp wood will not successfully build a fire! That togetherness is good. That pumpkin chocolate-chip muffins are best when microwaved for 20 seconds, then eaten with a glass of milk (this lesson we really learned!)

Oh, we've learned a lot; we've gained a lot. We've gained a truer picture of how we can submit to one another; we've gained new, deeper friendships; we've gained a real togetherness.

-Abbye

Page CXVI: Hymns III

Songwriter's Retreat, Day 3: ten bookmarks

We are listening, hearing the Scriptures read aloud. Ten bookmarks*, ten books, ten chapters; five voices, around the fire, the prayer candle. The 'Beatitudes,' the genealogy of Noah (the one who will bring us relief from the ground which was cursed), reminder that Jesus brought reconciliation.Two more songs written today, and yes! We are caught up on recording! Our songs are all so different, unique, which has really struck all of us. When we give a seed-song over to the ears and eyes of another person, they will almost always hear something that we could not have heard on our own.

And what do the rest of us do when one person is tediously recording vocals, guitars, etc.? We read. And draw. And snap pictures. And hold in our giggles... all in silence, of course! It isn't uncommon that as soon as we hear Matthew tap the spacebar (which stops the recording), exhales are heard around the room, followed by loads of laughter. But the best of it all is that we are always together during this time. Somehow, even amidst our various activities, there is a certain togetherness, a unity in our time. A mystery, we can call it.
We, at different times, have been stricken by this mystery, the beauty of it all. In moments throughout the week, the lenses have come off. And when they've come off, redemption is concrete; the Family of God is a real, intimate community; confession and honesty are healing, a necessary piece of dying to ourselves, our individual arrogance dashed.

Another late night, but oh, how it's been worth it...

*In Eric Papp's Bible are ten bookmarks, in ten different books of the Bible, representing ten chapters to be read daily. He's really loving this method of reading Scripture, and he shared it with us. Let us know if you'd like to know more about this for your own reading!
http://www.scribd.com/doc/12349985/Professor-Grant-Horners-Bible-Reading-System

-Abbye

Songwriter's Retreat, Wednesday (Day 2): Emergency naptime!

As the lunch conversation ended, quiet was falling upon us and eyelids were heavy. At least, mine were. So, as the dishes were being washed, and a nap seemed really nice, Emergency Naptime was declared!

Hour-long (or more) naps ensued. All was well.

Today's outpouring of songs was good, encouraging. Each of the groups came together with songs mostly filled out. The girls got together with some folky tunes and harmonies; prayers from Scripture and hymns of old. The guys offered up some haunting ("in a good way") melodies.

Now, here we are, shakers, hand drums, and mandolins going wild, with 4 songs left to get down before the night is done. And I have to say, the Emergency Nap gave me the energy I need to make it through!

Katie gave us a word today about worship, naming us outpourers. We all worship, we all pour out. But what is in us to pour out depends on who and what we worship. I sense this week that we've been filled up with the richness of friendship, honesty, reliance on God through dark times; and now we get to pour out from those things.

Thank God for Emergency Naps, Family, and the gift of song to lead us in the pouring out!

May the lyrics and melodies bear fruit in the lives of those we may never see or know...

-Abbye

Songwriter's Retreat, Tuesday (Day 1): bringing our seed-songs

We began our morning slowly, quietly, with breakfast and some time spread throughout the house, alone with our journals and prayers. Today's journal entry for me is so different from my last - pleading and crying out for friends back in Memphis who are in the throws of addiction. [Lord, have mercy.]

But this morning, I sat on Lake Pickwick, watching the land around us rise up just a bit, like they are saying to the Smokies, "When I grow up, I want to be just like you!" A good space for writing.

We came together mid-morning for Family prayer, then we split off into groups to write songs together, which was wildly and excitedly successful! Matthew, Eric, and I headed downstairs with two sets of phrases in our hands and a baby of a melody swirling around... a seed-song.* By the time we re-emerged to the top of the stairs, Katie and Matt were on their second song.

We then took some time to teach each other; our tunes were vastly different. Then throughout the day, we took our little seed-songs and watched something beautiful grow from it. We've been adding harmonies and layers and having fun. It's long work to record, but here in the lakehouse, we're finding much joy in it. To write and record songs in less than 12 hours is such a treasure. How did we get here, away from our regular jobs and commitments? A gift from God, we know this is true.
Then there's all the laughter - at the dinner table, during recording (exactly when you are NOT supposed to laugh, of course).

I can still hear the harmonies, the many voices of Family, ringing in my ears...

*I owe the use of this word, "seed-song," to Sara Groves.

**All photos taken by Eric Papp

-Abbye