Songwriter's Retreat: the beginning

Instead of writing my own posts about this past week's Songwriter's Retreat, I've decided to concede to my dear friend Abbye, who is a much better writer, and repost what she back-blogged during the retreat (due to our lack of internets at that time).

What is a Songwriter's Retreat? Who put this together for you? Where are you going? And what are you doing again? (And why do you need a whole week to...write?)

These are some great questions we received in the weeks leading up to our getaway to the tippy-toes of the Appalachian Mountains. These questions led us into some great conversations about why we write songs, why it's good to write together and especially how this week would be much more than just writing. We would write, sing, record, and above all that, pray, listen, and worship together. We decided to stop settling for, "Wouldn't it be so great if we holed ourselves up in a cabin for a week and wrote songs?"

This time, we did it.

And over the next several days, you can step back into last week with us and catch a glimpse of what it was all about, living in the Bear Cub Cabin, cooking meals, singing songs, reading Scripture, and laughing at Matthew's ridiculous clapping routines.

We hope you'll share the journey with us!

co-labor-ation

Kicking off on Monday, Matthew Clark, Katie Heckel, Jeff and Abbye Pates, Brian Mulder, myself, and some friendlies will hole-up in a cabin for a week. "To eat, sing, pray, read, seek, write, worship, and record as a little family!" -MC. I have been dreaming, regardless of my sleep/wake cycle, about this worship songwriting retreat ever since I received the invite. I hope to come to the cabin with an open and unassuming heart, leaving room to marvel at what the Lord will accomplish. I'm excited to join together with these cherished friends. For a week we'll co-labor together in the family business...seeking and building The Kingdom. Join us in prayer this week asking God to come and impact us, to move and use us in such a way as to lift high the name of God.

exciting news:
I upgraded my camera body earlier today, driving from Ozark, MO to Hannibal, MO and then on to Columbia, MO. I couldn't be more excited to get this baby two days before heading to Mississippi. I had quite a time talking with the gentleman who sold me the d90. To my surprise, money was not at the center of our interaction, and it seemed merely a small part of our conversation. He showed me photos of his grandchildren, and we shot the breeze for a while. It warmed my soul today to have such a positive conversation with a complete stranger, even in the context of money passing hands.

I'll echo Matthew in saying that even if we get nothing done it will be a beautiful time together. But with all these great artists together you can expect some sweet new songs (a la Enter the Worship Circle) to show up soon.

sleepy sleepy

Yoga before bed may well be a blessing from God. Goodnight to all, and to all a good night.

be thou my vision

02 Be Thou My Vision by PageCXVI

I've been digging on this song today. Music provides such an avenue for me to cross paths with God. Jesus has made it so that we may cross paths even now, but that we may soon commune together intimately as these paths converge into ∞. Be thou my vision, Lord, this is the prayer of my heart.

Echoing the Presence of God

A remark made by naturalist John Muir more than a century ago has managed to lodge itself into my mind.

I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in.

Waist deep in the cool waters of Bennett Springs, my face and neck warmed by the sun, I felt a sense of oneness with the earth. Trout, both large and small, were meandering within inches of my feet, and Nature was playing one of her beautiful orchestral arrangements, echoing the presence of God. Brady and I made sure to apply ample amounts of sunscreen due to the fact that pale is "in" this season, and because Callie was kind enough to remind us before our departure.

The retirees fly fishing around me seemed to have perfected this art, convincing numerous trout to strike. But by swinging the fly back and forth through the air, the first thing I managed to catch was the crotch of my waders. My original focus was ostensibly on avoiding this region, but to no advantage. Hoping to limit this occurrence, and having grown frustrated by my lack of technique, I switched to a spin-casting rod. Although it came several hours after we arrived, I eventually caught my first trout, and it was worth every minute of it. But alas, I joined ranks as a bearer of the "one that got away" tale. Brady was downstream and sole possessor of the net, so when the fish danced, I watched in slow motion, helplessly, as the fish followed the trajectory toward the waters below. But whatever loss I experienced was overwhelmingly less than what I took out of this adventure.

Great conversations permeated the day, and gave rise to quality time spent with someone I truly consider a brother. The weather was delightful from beginning to end, starting with warm sun and closing with a thunderstorm rolling in.

Stillness and silence were satisfying for my soul. I was reminded of when the Lord speaks to Elijah on Mount Horeb...not in the wind...not in the earthquake...not in the fire...but, instead in a low whisper. There, in the stream, I am filled with a deep inner silence and wait for a still, small voice.

He speaks tenderly and reminds me that we are never alone.

pain. hope. joy.

An ancient song fills my head in this moment.

Be not far from me, for trouble is near, and there is none to help. Psalm 22:11.

My roommate found out yesterday that his older brother had died unexpectedly. Earlier that morning he found out that his girlfriend's mother was diagnosed with breast cancer. My heart aches in this moment. It aches for Adam and the families affected by these difficult life moments.

In a more recent song; one that draws from the ancestry of the Psalms, titled "Pain," Aaron Strumpel sings what I am feeling: "I grow nearly faint when I see all the pain...There's AIDS in the world, and cancer in my friends, and I'm sick now 'cause I'm scared."

I cling to hope. I deeply desire that others might cling to this living hope. I hope in the eventual triumph of wholeness over disease, in the swallowing up of death by a life that cannot be denied.

I am affirmed by the twenty third Psalm.

The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He makes me lie down in green pastures.

He leads me beside still waters.

He restores my soul.

He leads me in paths of righteousness

for his name's sake.

Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

I will fear no evil,

for you are with me;

your rod and your staff,

they comfort me.

Psalm 23:1-4

No, I will not be in want. You are with me; I will not fear. You comfort me; I will not fear. Fear has no place, not even a foothold, even in the face of terrifying things such as disease and sorrow. In the end, joy has the last word, offering a blessing.

Last weekend marked the first funeral I've attended for a patient that I've worked with at the hospital. It was for a man that many at the hospital felt a close connection to. He was one of the jolliest people I have ever met. We shared jokes back and forth each weekend, and if time allowed, we would talk about more than just the quick, "How are you feeling?" questions, and had several conversations that encompassed faith, marriage, children, and legacy. Over the weeks that I was able to care for him, I looked forward to our talks, but I wanted to see him get better and move on to the next step in his rehabilitation. One night I came in and struck up a quick conversation expecting our usual banter, but the mood was different. The air was thick with despair and depression. After weeks of working with him, this was the first time that I had seen him feeling this way and it upset me. I devised a plan to try to help bring him some joy. After my shift was over, with the help of a few other staff, we were able to transfer him to a wheelchair. He thought he was just going to sit up for breakfast, but I wrapped him in blankets and we rolled out of the room and navigated our way through the maze of the hospital until we reached the lower lobby. The mechanized doors parted and the sunrise shown brightly in front of us. I figured go big or go home applied here, so we took several laps around the parking lot, up hills and dodging cars. We were outside for nearly twenty minutes, but to the person occupying the chair, it could have been weeks.

A small idea planted in my mind by divine hands, was acted upon, and grew into something that would bring back the jolly spirit of a man that had been in a hospital room too long. His spirits revived, but his body unexpectedly did not. I imagined that the walk would be a turnaround point for his recovery, and it was partially accurate. His body began to deteriorate, but his renewed spirit allowed him to make peace with dying, and with God.

A small idea planted in the mind by divine hands, when acted upon, can grow something with an impact as great as feeling the cool breeze and warmth of the sun for seemingly weeks, though it be a literal last experience.

Listen intently and look with sharp eyes for the opportunities around you, Eric.

An excerpt from E. B. Browning's "Aurora Leigh" speaks truths I am ready to believe.

"Earth's crammed with heaven,

And every common bush afire with God;

But only he who sees, takes off his shoes,

The rest sit round it, and pluck blackberries,

And daub their natural faces unaware..."

No, I will not be in want. You are with me; I will not fear. You comfort me; I will not fear.

Joy has the last word, offering a blessing.

source of hope

The tougher the times, the greater the need to live a life of love for others.

Nearness. This is what I have felt today. This is what has been encouraging me deep, deep down. Nearness to the the source of real hope. Following an emotionally taxing night at the hospital, I was eager to be around the family of God in hopes of restoration. A time gap allowed for 1 Peter and a great cup of coffee to begin to warm my body and soul before heading to Karis. Hat on, hood up, focused eyes, open heart. There are times when I am aware of my need for something outside of myself to make it through each moment. This is always the reality, but I am only really aware of this at certain times. This morning I felt it in the fibers of my being. I could feel that by the end of my shift I was not loving my patients well, and I was going through motions. This realization is defeating. I know that there is no slacking when it comes to our call to live like Jesus, especially when life is really tough. Peter doesn't ease our burden by saying we don't have to live like Jesus during difficult times. Instead he writes something to equip us with the power to love.

He begins his letter saying: "Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! According to his great mercy, he has caused us to be born again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead" (1:3). The power of hope. If we are to love like Jesus loved, even in times of great stress and worry, then we must be filled with "living hope."

There are some things going on in life, that when I hear this kind of encouragement it provokes a resounding "Amen!" because this is what I've been looking for and needing to hold onto. This "living hope" is fertile, fruitful, and productive. It has power. It gives rise to change.

I needed this. I need this. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! There is great cause for celebration.

communion wine

My parents and I were having a glass of wine after a lovely dinner a few nights ago. Dad had taught a study about the last supper as it relates to communion the night prior. Proud as I was to see my dad leading at church, I couldn't help but get lost in the text. I've been reading in Isaiah and that night I began to see connections between Jesus' last supper and the feast foretold in Isaiah 25 and the wedding feast in Revelation 19...

[6] On this mountain the LORD of hosts will make for all peoples

a feast of rich food, a feast of well-aged wine,

of rich food full of marrow, of aged wine well refined.

[7] And he will swallow up on this mountain

the covering that is cast over all peoples,

the veil that is spread over all nations.

[8] He will swallow up death forever;

and the Lord GOD will wipe away tears from all faces,

and the reproach of his people he will take away from all the earth,

for the LORD has spoken.

(Isaiah 25:6-8 ESV)

[9] And the angel said to me, “Write this: Blessed are those who are invited to the marriage supper of the Lamb.” And he said to me, “These are the true words of God.”

(Revelation 19:9 ESV)

While enjoying the cup with my parents, I was reminded that Jesus said that he would not drink wine again until he drinks it new, when we are new, together in his kingdom. I long for that day. To be welcomed into the presence of my maker and savior is sobering. Though I am parched, I lap my tongue at the sour wine of lesser lovers. Yet by grace Jesus welcomes me to taste the aged wine that knows no time.

[29] I tell you I will not drink again of this fruit of the vine until that day when I drink it new with you in my Father's kingdom.”

(Matthew 26:29 ESV)

I must quote Waterdeep, from their song Both Of Us'll Feel The Blast, a song that presents as vivid an image of this as I've come across

...dying's underrated, it's a ticket to the feast-
The one we're all invited to, from the greatest to the least

I hope we sit together when Jesus serves the wine
So I can look into your eyes when I taste it the first time
And I know there's no secrets when you're sitting at that table
But I believe we'll smile real knowingly when we read the label
And it says "passion sacrificed to keep from going crazy."
We'll tip our glasses to the Host who used to look so hazy
And drink it down all sweet and slow and slip inside His mind
And realize as it goes down- this is communion wine

I love the chill and goosebumps the Spirit so lovingly supplies when connections are made, and when I'm graced with the ability to understand a little bit about God and who he is. Love wells from within and I feel giddy about what I've just read from the Bible. Jesus, teach me that this is really what it looks like to be a man. A man in your eyes.

opportunities

This photo might look familiar. His name is Cauan and he and I became fast friends in Brazil.

Well, this little guy has the chance to have this photo in Dave Barnes' music video for "God Gave Me You." It would bring me much joy to be able to show Cauan his face in the music video for a song that gives thanks to God for the relationships he has placed us in. If you would like to help make this happen you can "like" the photo on facebook here: http://bit.ly/cUZO1h

Thank you friends! Now, back to studying the liver. yipee!

Oh, that reminds me, please, please pray for my friend Ellen (also in Brazil). I was chatting with her boyfriend Marccus today on fb and learned that she has had major liver complications that were life threatening. Through the language barrier, I believe that she has had one surgery already, but it went poorly, and she will have another to correct the mistake from her first.

I often ignore the blessing I have in being a part of such a rich network of prayer warriors. Thank you for lifting her up in this moment. Please continue to pray alongside me for Cauan, that God would show himself clearly to him, and that Cauan would respond in faith.

I appreciate you all. Boa noite.

seraphs and superlatives

Holiness, holiness is what I long for. Holiness is what I need. Holiness is what you want from me. So, take my heart and form it; take my mind, transform it; take my will, conform it to yours, to yours, oh Lord.

Faithfulness, faithfulness...

Righteousness, righteousness...

to yours, to yours, oh Lord.

I have been thinking and praying about holiness after encountering, and seeing with fresh eyes, my sin juxtaposed with a perfect God. I have grown comfortable with my flesh, and blinded to truths that were so evident not long ago. I have allowed my own heart, my own mind, and my body to become corrupted. Tonight, my brokenness was met with open arms.

Lord, you used Revelation 4 and 5 to show me that you are worthy of worship, and you used it to awe and flatten me, just as the twenty-four elders and four living creatures fell down before the Lamb. And we began to sing a new song.

You are sorting out my imperfections. Lord, you really are taking away what pollutes me. Even though I so often feel lost and am frustrated by that, Lord I can feel that things are changing, and that things are changed. You are restoring clarity to a very clouded heart, mind, and body.

You are growing my confidence in you, that you really do have the ability to take away the cancerous things that seem to have metastasized, by bringing purity.

Turn my deserts into gardens. You are, you have, and you will continue.

Because of having met you, and because of knowing you, there are things I could not see that I can see now; that I did not know that I know now, because you taught me, because you have done work to mend what once was broken.

Lord, give us the ability to see you and hear you and follow you. Keep us trusting in you, that you are the one doing the work, and that you are the one who is faithful.

Transform our hearts that we may be a people who bring transformation.

You do really good work Lord, you really do.

"Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of hosts;

the whole earth is full of his glory!"

Isaiah 6:3

(adapted from the prayer of a dear friend)

mint julep, plantations, and oaks a'plenty

Tour of the Oak Valley Plantation just outside New Orleans during the heat wave that was early August. We had a chance to visit Lauren and help her get moved into her house and classroom. What a beautiful visit filled with loving people and memories made.

New Chapters

7/29 (from a bit ago)

Today started before the sun, but it was well worth the sleepy eyes. I was able to make breakfast for my good friend Jason before his last day of nursing school. Look forward to that coming day myself, but today I was proud to see him finish. It doesn't seem real that he moved into our house only a year ago. God has done much through him in that short time to bless me and the other men in the house. I will truly miss, and cherish, the fun and impactful times that we have shared, from launching things from atop our roof, blasting our pecs at the gym ;), talking girls, to challenging each other to pursue God with fervor, praying together, and memorizing verses...glimpses into a blessed friendship.

Last night several of the guys in our house went out to eat to have a last hurrah with Jason, and then had a great time acting a fool on the roof. But afterwords, when things settled down, we were all able to pray together and God's presence was clearly present. Burrito fajitas, hanging out on the roof, prayer, and tears...good night.

...But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33

These words seemed to frame the night and preceded the following verse, "Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble. Matthew 6:34

Jason and several others are moving from Columbia and anxiety can be easy to come by when unknowns are in the picture. God provides. Two words, often hard to believe, but continually true. Jason just received word today that he is being hired for a job in Hawaii as a videographer for a marine park, and is leaving on Tuesday, trusting in the God's providence.

I'm encouraged by those who continue to trust when details are fuzzy. Keep the faith.

la musica

I've been trying to pick up the guitar for years now. Well, halfheartedly putting forth effort to learn guitar. I thought I'd share with you the first, and only song so far, in which my right and left hands don't become bipolar when I try to throw in the element of vocals. This is very rough, as I have yet to really learn to play the guitar, or sing for that matter, but hey, you get some fun falsetto too. I wanted to share a song that has been running through my head lately. Not solely because it's the only song I can play/sing, but because it has such a great message that I need to hear over and over. Lift up and praise the Son, and don't worry about gaining anything else but him. Ben and Robin Pasley rock this on Enter the Worship Circle, Circle 4, if you're interested in hearing it in its original state. Check them out, they have been instrumental, no pun intended, in my faith and its growth by allowing me to worship God through their music.

Higher and Higher
Ben and Robin Pasley

V.1 Why would the people of the earth, sell their soul for a feeling
Soon to fade, soon to fade, soon to fade away
Why would the kings of the earth, dare to build a kingdom
Soon to fade, soon to fade, soon to fade away

TIE: But here we come, and we bow down, Watch us kiss the Son

CH. We kiss the Son, we come undone
We lift him higher and higher
We kiss the King, he means everything
We lift him higher and higher

V.2 Why would the nations of the earth, make war for a power
Soon to fade, soon to fade, soon to fade away
Why would the ruler of the earth, try to own everything
Soon to fade, soon to fade, soon to fade away

Galatians 5:6

The means to love begins with trust,

and faith in Him who forms with dust.

But how, O Lord, shall I attain,

to a love for those whom I disdain?

A love with strength enough to bless,

and pray for those who bring forth stress?

Sweet resolve rests in your Book of Life,

breathed out for ones born into strife.

Again, I ask, remind my soul,

before unbelief may take its toll.

That your sovereign goodness is worthy of trust,

ushering in freedom to again adjust;

From complacent heart to one brimming with love,

rooted deep within your Son above.

Careful religion nor its disregard amount to much,

nonetheless, I am apt to run to such.

For in Christ Jesus, the plan superior,

is one in relation to the interior;


Faith expressed in love.

Matthew 5:14-16

Let me love both friend and foe.

Let me shine, though fallen,
with a life, so distinctive,
displaying your glow.
For you have made me a city,
not hidden from view,
but a light among men
that points only to you.
Let me be the proof that
You are making all things new,
that you can be trusted
and that your existence is true.
Let your promises pierce -
deep into my heart,
cut out pride and fear
and greed to start.
For you are the Great Surgeon,
the one writing this story.
Oh, would you please take next,
any ounce of vain glory?
Replace them with contentment and love,
and freedom for others.
Let your presence be clear
to my sisters and brothers.
Light of the world,
to my heart you are knit,
Let my life show your hope and freedom,
that the world will admit
That you are real and glorious,
and worthy of praise.
Your light I shall shine,
for the rest of my days.

Cidade de Deus

Shadows hide the nakedness of this little one. Playing with a fan just outside the security of his scrap-metal home, a half naked boy was eager to see the new faces passing by. Apparently he seldom dons clothes, indoors or out, and just as rarely joins the games played at the new church a few steps away. The church building is not spotless or exquisite in any way, but rather is marked with bullet holes and puddles of water. Be that as it may, its lack of roof and stained glass does little to keep out the 2o persons who have decided that gathering there to worship together is valuable. I did not catch this little boy's name, nor whether he is naked by choice or circumstance. But I pray that the redemption already brought to those who gather regularly, just a few steps away, will soon affect his life.

Battered pews and wet floors are not what I envisioned when told of the recent church God has birthed in the City of God favela. Our church in Columbia is going to be donating funds to help finish the building described here: http://tinyurl.com/brazilianwall Once an execution room used by drug lords; now it has been redeemed and houses a beautiful portion of God's church.

Not trained to say cheese or smile when a camera is produced, this little guy looks curiously at me and my camera. Most likely having never seen his own photo, he was amused by the picture on the rear of the camera. "Another, take another" was my interpretation of the words that followed. Having been seen eating food found on the mired paths that interlace the favela, it is comforting to see him eating chips from a bag. This is most likely not a treat, but nourishment, based on the rate at which he is eating, but he seems content with what I consider little. And amused by what I take for granted...a simple image of himself.

Long eyelashes, a sign of malnutrition. Huge smile and telling eyes of the joy within this boy. I can tell that there is something different about this boy. He clings to us like glue as we walk through the community, not asking for anything but attention and love.

He displays an unexpected joy welling from deep within. I am told that he hasn't missed a single happening at the church building since people started gathering there a few weeks ago.

We had such a fun time together and I was sad to leave him behind at the end of the day. So was he. A sadness fell over him as we had to pile into the van and say, "tchau tchau."

Our friend was reassured by Christy (a Texan living on mission in Brazil) that she would be back in a few days. It does my heart good to see that there are people committed to serving this community.

There is such a warmth to people we met in Brazil. Amidst poverty and desolation, this warmth was not absent from an older man we met.

The lines on his face, visible reminders of the years he has experienced. Wisdom eager to be passed on, but shielded by a language barrier. He is however able to portray his happiness that we are there. He knew those leading us through his city and trusted us as friends because of the work done before us. That bridge allowed us to pray and meet with many people. I am so confident in the work that came before, and continues after we left.

I cannot express the degree to which prayer is needed for this community and the workers for the gospel there. The building above is a house of witchcraft located no more than 30 yards from the church mentioned previously. God shines forth brightly, and the darkness will not overcome him, but the truth of its presence is still sobering.

An infant is held by a proud father outside the door of his home. This my friends is a rarity. Men in this community are scarce. Men with jobs, who love their wife, and who are also present in the lives of their children is almost never seen. This man is an exception. He is also a member of the church body that I have been talking about.

His older son takes in the picture of 12 strangers crammed into his house praying for his mother. This father mentioned earlier invited us in to pray for his wife who had spent many weeks in the hospital after giving birth to the swaddled little one shown earlier. I was brought to tears by the faithfulness of a family who has seen much pain, but knows the peace of God and has learned to rely on him for everything. I am humbled beyond expression and am crying in the library as I type.

This little guy has too many sandals. Just kidding. He's friends with the smiling boy pictured earlier and they exchanged handshakes just moments before taking this photo. I am hopeful for these two boys and pray for their futures.

Luke Freeman and his new friends.

After several attempts a successful bubble makes for a proud little girl.

Knowing nothing of the World Cup, this boy still knows the joy of playing with a ball. Who knows, maybe I'll see him on television someday soon, heading a ball in for a goal.

Contrast is a prevalent theme in the City of God. Clothes and trash litter the muddy streets and desolation abounds, but vibrant beauty springs forth from the faces and stories of its inhabitants. God is present and one could not ask for more. I need my hard heart to be pierced by this truth. He will never say, "tchau tchau."

I am continuing to process through the memories that I have from Brazil, but look forward to telling anyone who will listen about the goodness of God. Come taste and see that the Lord is good.