Galatians 5:6

The means to love begins with trust,

and faith in Him who forms with dust.

But how, O Lord, shall I attain,

to a love for those whom I disdain?

A love with strength enough to bless,

and pray for those who bring forth stress?

Sweet resolve rests in your Book of Life,

breathed out for ones born into strife.

Again, I ask, remind my soul,

before unbelief may take its toll.

That your sovereign goodness is worthy of trust,

ushering in freedom to again adjust;

From complacent heart to one brimming with love,

rooted deep within your Son above.

Careful religion nor its disregard amount to much,

nonetheless, I am apt to run to such.

For in Christ Jesus, the plan superior,

is one in relation to the interior;


Faith expressed in love.

Matthew 5:14-16

Let me love both friend and foe.

Let me shine, though fallen,
with a life, so distinctive,
displaying your glow.
For you have made me a city,
not hidden from view,
but a light among men
that points only to you.
Let me be the proof that
You are making all things new,
that you can be trusted
and that your existence is true.
Let your promises pierce -
deep into my heart,
cut out pride and fear
and greed to start.
For you are the Great Surgeon,
the one writing this story.
Oh, would you please take next,
any ounce of vain glory?
Replace them with contentment and love,
and freedom for others.
Let your presence be clear
to my sisters and brothers.
Light of the world,
to my heart you are knit,
Let my life show your hope and freedom,
that the world will admit
That you are real and glorious,
and worthy of praise.
Your light I shall shine,
for the rest of my days.

Cidade de Deus

Shadows hide the nakedness of this little one. Playing with a fan just outside the security of his scrap-metal home, a half naked boy was eager to see the new faces passing by. Apparently he seldom dons clothes, indoors or out, and just as rarely joins the games played at the new church a few steps away. The church building is not spotless or exquisite in any way, but rather is marked with bullet holes and puddles of water. Be that as it may, its lack of roof and stained glass does little to keep out the 2o persons who have decided that gathering there to worship together is valuable. I did not catch this little boy's name, nor whether he is naked by choice or circumstance. But I pray that the redemption already brought to those who gather regularly, just a few steps away, will soon affect his life.

Battered pews and wet floors are not what I envisioned when told of the recent church God has birthed in the City of God favela. Our church in Columbia is going to be donating funds to help finish the building described here: http://tinyurl.com/brazilianwall Once an execution room used by drug lords; now it has been redeemed and houses a beautiful portion of God's church.

Not trained to say cheese or smile when a camera is produced, this little guy looks curiously at me and my camera. Most likely having never seen his own photo, he was amused by the picture on the rear of the camera. "Another, take another" was my interpretation of the words that followed. Having been seen eating food found on the mired paths that interlace the favela, it is comforting to see him eating chips from a bag. This is most likely not a treat, but nourishment, based on the rate at which he is eating, but he seems content with what I consider little. And amused by what I take for granted...a simple image of himself.

Long eyelashes, a sign of malnutrition. Huge smile and telling eyes of the joy within this boy. I can tell that there is something different about this boy. He clings to us like glue as we walk through the community, not asking for anything but attention and love.

He displays an unexpected joy welling from deep within. I am told that he hasn't missed a single happening at the church building since people started gathering there a few weeks ago.

We had such a fun time together and I was sad to leave him behind at the end of the day. So was he. A sadness fell over him as we had to pile into the van and say, "tchau tchau."

Our friend was reassured by Christy (a Texan living on mission in Brazil) that she would be back in a few days. It does my heart good to see that there are people committed to serving this community.

There is such a warmth to people we met in Brazil. Amidst poverty and desolation, this warmth was not absent from an older man we met.

The lines on his face, visible reminders of the years he has experienced. Wisdom eager to be passed on, but shielded by a language barrier. He is however able to portray his happiness that we are there. He knew those leading us through his city and trusted us as friends because of the work done before us. That bridge allowed us to pray and meet with many people. I am so confident in the work that came before, and continues after we left.

I cannot express the degree to which prayer is needed for this community and the workers for the gospel there. The building above is a house of witchcraft located no more than 30 yards from the church mentioned previously. God shines forth brightly, and the darkness will not overcome him, but the truth of its presence is still sobering.

An infant is held by a proud father outside the door of his home. This my friends is a rarity. Men in this community are scarce. Men with jobs, who love their wife, and who are also present in the lives of their children is almost never seen. This man is an exception. He is also a member of the church body that I have been talking about.

His older son takes in the picture of 12 strangers crammed into his house praying for his mother. This father mentioned earlier invited us in to pray for his wife who had spent many weeks in the hospital after giving birth to the swaddled little one shown earlier. I was brought to tears by the faithfulness of a family who has seen much pain, but knows the peace of God and has learned to rely on him for everything. I am humbled beyond expression and am crying in the library as I type.

This little guy has too many sandals. Just kidding. He's friends with the smiling boy pictured earlier and they exchanged handshakes just moments before taking this photo. I am hopeful for these two boys and pray for their futures.

Luke Freeman and his new friends.

After several attempts a successful bubble makes for a proud little girl.

Knowing nothing of the World Cup, this boy still knows the joy of playing with a ball. Who knows, maybe I'll see him on television someday soon, heading a ball in for a goal.

Contrast is a prevalent theme in the City of God. Clothes and trash litter the muddy streets and desolation abounds, but vibrant beauty springs forth from the faces and stories of its inhabitants. God is present and one could not ask for more. I need my hard heart to be pierced by this truth. He will never say, "tchau tchau."

I am continuing to process through the memories that I have from Brazil, but look forward to telling anyone who will listen about the goodness of God. Come taste and see that the Lord is good.

Granted Admission

Recently, I have been welcomed into the lives of many unexpected people. In a small group with church, we have been having a monthly game night at Paquin Towers, a local residence for disabled and those living below the poverty line. During a game of Cranium, an eccentric older man walked through the main door wearing a black beret and carrying an umbrella with a duck's head for a handle. He examined the game pieces, intrigued by something we did not see. I had brought my camera and as he was about to head up to his room for the night, I asked if I could take a portrait shot of him. He was hesitant at first and I wanted to respect that, but after a bit of thought he agreed. I took a few quick pics and then asked if I could get his contact info in case any of the pictures came out well, so I could give him a copy. We were about to exchange info, but he must have linked my affinity for photography with a love for the arts and invited me up to see his artwork. I was a little hesitant, but threw caution to the wind and up the elevator went. I spent the next couple hours listening to the stories behind each piece of artwork that literally filled his studio apartment. I could not have been more pleased to listen to each story, perplexed by the quantity and quality of his work. I realized I had spent a few hours up there and thanked him for showing me his work, we exchanged info and I headed back downstairs to see if the rest of our group was still there. I had been allowed into the intimate place of a stranger's home, an artist's studio to boot. During our time I had a small opportunity to talk openly about faith and nursing and living out of the country. Even at his age he works as a personal care assistant for someone with quadriplegic paralysis, so we were able to connect on several levels.

Another surprising opportunity happened during my maternity clinical rotation. We were at the hospital and my initial patient and her new baby had been discharged to go home. This gave me the opportunity to help out in the well baby nursery and to practice with extra assessments. After our lunch break my professor told me that there was a mother on the L&D floor with history of precipitous (swift) labor and there was a possibility she would let me help out. Turns out there were two women on the floor in labor and one of the nurses had told our professor about one in particular, but not the other. My professor accidentally asked the other. The mother didn't speak English, but through the translator said she was fine with me being there. Let me just say that I was ecstatic. A woman from a very modest culture had given the green light to a nursing student being present during such a special and intimate time, and a male nursing student on top of that! I had a little time to build up a rapport with the family, and was able to exercise what little Spanish that I know. The family was so kind and very great to work with. When the time came, the nurse called me over from recording the vitals to help support the mother's leg so that she could bear down and push. The physician was amazing and talked me through everything, solidifying the concepts I had learned in class. When the baby entered the world my eyes teared up. I have heard that birth is a miracle and I believed it, but seeing it happen right before my eyes made that phrase come alive.

I still cannot believe how special these moments are and continue to wonder why I was allowed entry into these private moments. God is SO big and I will never understand why he does what he does, but he is GOOD! My life so far has taken so many crazy twists and turns and I would be beyond a fool not to attribute each of the silly and awing moments to the sovereignty of He who created all things, showed his faithfulness to his creation by becoming a man, dying as a criminal, conquering death by rising from the grave, the father in turn looking on Christ's sacrifice as worthy, thus saving me from my depravity...

And now, allows me to be a part of his intimate story of redemption, choosing to display his grace by including me as a part of what he is doing. God is active in his creation and he is crazy good at what he does. Please get to know him; he welcomes you into his marvelous story.

Let Your Kingdom Come

How has accepting Christ changed the way I live? How do I now honor God with my life? Both are questions I've been wielding to further examine and ponder how I use the time and breath I currently have on loan. Jesus gave us a living example to model our lives by, footprints, by which if we should only follow them, we would be led down the straight and narrow road to a life well pleasing to God. By looking at the example of how Jesus lived in order to honor God, I begin to see specific themes and issues that he cared about and taught on.


Matthew 9:35-38

35 And Jesus went throughout all the cities and villages, teaching in their synagogues and proclaiming the gospel of the kingdom and healing every disease and every affliction. 36 When he saw the crowds, he had compassion for them, because they were harassed and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd. 37 Then he said to his disciples, “The harvest is plentiful, but the laborers are few; 38 therefore pray earnestly to the Lord of the harvest to send out laborers into his harvest.”

Matthew 20: 25-28

25 But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. 26 It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, [1] 27 and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, [2] 28 even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

1 Peter 4:11

11 whoever speaks, as one who speaks oracles of God; whoever serves, as one who serves by the strength that God supplies—in order that in everything God may be glorified through Jesus Christ. To him belong glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.

Galatians 5: 22-24

22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. 24 And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

Psalm 102: 18-22

18 Let this be recorded for a generation to come,
so that a people yet to be created may praise the Lord:
19 that he looked down from his holy height;
from heaven the Lord looked at the earth,
20 to hear the groans of the prisoners,
to set free those who were doomed to die,
21 that they may declare in Zion the name of the Lord,
and in Jerusalem his praise,
22 when peoples gather together,
and kingdoms, to worship the Lord.

Ephesians 5: 1-2

1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.

Mark 16: 15

15 And he said to them, “Go into all the world and proclaim the gospel to the whole creation.

2 Corinthians 5: 17-19

17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. [1] The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 18 All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; 19 that is, in Christ God was reconciling [2] the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation.

Matthew 25: 34-40

34 Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world. 35 For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, 36 I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ 37 Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? 38 And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? 39 And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ 40 And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, [1] you did it to me.’

Jesus made service to the poor, sacrifice, suffering, and sharing the Good News with all people a priority in his life. How does this affect the way I react to people I encounter? My future plans? My decisions? My Friendships? My attitude?

Things I am pondering.

I count everything as loss

(My great good friend Matthew Clark during Spring Break at SOS in Memphis)

There are so many things that I want to pen to paper, or type into my laptop, but I have had to resist. Nursing school continues to amaze me with its ability to progressively capture away the hours of the day. We have just embarked into the foreign world of Maternity, and it's providing many with labor pains. However, I am refreshed after a week well spent with my dad and friends in Memphis, and it could not have come at a better time. Unexpectedly, I found myself leading a group of college students from Austin, TX in serving Miss Mattie in the Bing (affectionate term for the neighborhood of Binghampton, inner city Memphis, and Lord willing, future place to call home before saying goodbye to the US) by heading up the re-roofing of her home. I was able to lead the devotions time we had each afternoon, and was particularly encouraged by the words of a couple currently serving in East Asia who used to work with SOS. Their names have been changed, but I'll call them David and Karen. They and their 3 small children now live in a major city while taking language classes and working on a local college campus, meeting freshman and sharing the gospel of Jesus Christ with them. The catch is, evangelism is illegal in this country and their work of sharing the good news must be kept under the radar. They hope to raise up disciples among these college students who will then continue to spread the Good News to their own people.

Here's the letter from Karen that was used for our Wednesday devotional:

At 10 p.m. on a Friday night last month, while David was away at an evangelism event on campus, I was curled up in a ball in our frigid, unheated bedroom, crying my heart out. Nothing tragic was happening, to speak of. I had simply been in a foreign land for 17 months, rarely leaving my apartment, covered up to my ears in diaper wipes and peanut butter sandwiches, and a part of me was beginning to ask, “Why?” I had seen a picture of my little brother on the internet that afternoon, and he looked like a guy nearing 30 (which indeed he is). A literal ache began in my chest, and only worsened as the evening wore on. I tried to video-call my mom, but our connection betrayed us. I was left with nothing but the image of her in a bathrobe frozen on my screen, with an odd look on her face. It was too late to call my friends here. I would never phone David during an evangelism event. I was homesick and alone. It is hard to be a stay-at-home missionary. I have made all of the sacrifices of a missionary, but I reap few of the immediate rewards. Each morning I kiss David goodbye and he disappears behind the elevator doors, only to reappear 7 hours later, the world a little more aware of Jesus. I pray. I stay up on what is going on. I bake pies for team dinners. However, for the most part, I do the same things that I did in America, except I cannot go out to lunch with my mom, or drop the kids off at my mother-in-law’s when I have a hair appointment, or even speak to my neighbor. It is a lonely existence much of the time. It is a high-stress existence. It is easy to lose focus and forget why we came here. All of this was made worse last month, as the semester was coming to a close with little to show for it, and we were embarking on our second consecutive holiday season away from the USA. As I lay crying on my bed that Friday night, I repeated a simple prayer over and over from the very gut-bottom of my heart, “Lord, make it worth it. Make it worth it…”

…And then, at about 11 p.m., the key turned in the lock and David came through the door, his face glowing, his eyes warm with the light of the Holy Spirit. He smiled, and even before he told me the good news, I knew that God had answered my prayer. The tears flowed again, only this time they were tears of joy. Three young men had decided to follow Jesus that evening. Three new names in the book of life. Three future husbands, fathers, grandfathers, teachers, bosses, neighbors, friends, who would reach the world around them with the peace that now flooded them from head to toe. If we had not come, who would have told them? If we had not come, how would David have played basketball with them a few weeks ago, a random group of gangly college boys, only to meet with them again to share the good news of Jesus and challenge them to believe? And so we stood in our living room, the clock nearing midnight, praising God and embracing one another as the Christmas tree blinked and the children slept in their beds. “This is why I came,” I said. “Yes,” David said, looking me in the face, “This is why we came.”

-----

I'm reminded of the amazing times when God has done marvelous things for my good, but for his glory. I think back to my spinal injury during my senior season of wrestling, happening just before the state tournament, before nursing was even a twinkling in my eye. I was hurt, having put so many hours into something I was passionate about, watching what had been my best year end abruptly. Fast forward two years and you would find me sitting in a hospital during my third interview with the facility, being told that I had slipped through the cracks and there wasn't a position open on the cardiac floor for the hours I could work. "We like you. Let me see if there are any other positions available on other floors." I am technically hired on Joint Replacement, but have been scheduled on the Spine Center basically since I was hired. I can offer a glimpse of hope for patients because I have been in their shoes, I can relate to the pain they have felt, and I am a better tech because of it. I praise God that he allowed my disks to herniate; that he allowed my dad to be downsized from a job he was incredible at, that God might show his provision and faithfulness in ways more grand than a paycheck, and bring our family closer together in the process.

Psalm 102:18-22 “Let this be recorded for a generation to come, so that a people yet to be created may praise the LORD: that he looked down from his holy height; from heaven the LORD looked at the earth, to hear the groans of the prisoners, to SET FREE those who were doomed to die, that they may declare in Zion the name of the LORD, and in Jerusalem his praise, when peoples gather together, and kingdoms, to worship the LORD.”

I now have to go study maternity, but as we go forth from here, what I want you to remember and know are these 3 crucial truths:

1) God’s number one agenda is to make much of His own name, thus, acting for His own glory. Being that this is His agenda and we are His followers, it only makes sense that this must also become our agenda – to live for the glory of God in all things. (Phil. 2:9-11, Isa 43:25)

2) God’s call for discipleship is radical and contrary to everything we see and know. In this call, Jesus asks us to consider the cost – that of giving up your own life, living for the glory of another (God) and not yourself, treasuring Christ as the most important thing in your life, and, yes, even suffering and enduring hardship for the name of Jesus and the Gospel.

3) The reward of following Jesus and responding to God’s call is the best and most rewarding decision you could ever make. We have to believe this is true, that Jesus truly is our greatest treasure. We make a “sacrifice” only to receive something better – intimacy and relationship with our Lord and Creator!

Enjoy Christ! Enjoy Christ! And enjoy Christ!

Hiding

I'm into my second week of memorizing scripture with a few of my roommates. This time next year, I pray that we've hidden at least 52 verses in our hearts in order that we might not sin against God (Psalm 119: 11). Deuteronomy 7: 9 christened our trek through the Word.

9 Know therefore that the Lord your God is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and steadfast love with those who love him and keep his commandments, to a thousand generations

I wanted to start this as I've been thinking about what it looks like to mirror Christ; to be intimately involved with the life of the Son, and a few of my roommates were on board. Jesus quoted parts of our verse for this week (Deut. 10: 12-13) when he was questioned by pharisees as to which commandment was greatest. When tempted or when questions were asked, Jesus would answer with scripture. I have so enjoyed praying and dwelling on a few verses and being able to say them from my heart. Deut. 7: 9 has been such a beacon of light for me when I've struggled with whatever. Offering grace, being joyful, keeping my tongue in check, keeping my eyes in check, whatever. I've used it out of context, preaching it to myself and it still seems to reorient me to truth, and not my deceitful self. I trust the breath of God, and I'm learning to not trust myself, unless I know it lines up with what He says. God has equipped us with the tools for life, providing the foundation for what a life that counts looks like. I'm excited to see how God blesses and uses this discipline to further and enrich his Kingdom. I wholeheartedly urge you to give it a try.